My Beautiful Sorrow

I was right there, in my imagination, experiencing it all: pain, rejection, fear, isolation.
It becomes a simple business transaction, one to disconnect. I need that distance from myself, all in the name of stability.
I dare not dream for fear of disappointment; I dare not love for fear of rejection; I dare not share my most vulnerable moments, or expose who I am for fear of humiliation and shame.

Ah, what beautiful sorrow,

a mournful delight,

the darkening light,

a painful bliss,

a heavenly torment,

the foreboding joy.